My nephew, age 17, has been home-schooled all his life. I visited my sister’s family last week for the first time in years and realized my nephew is extremely sheltered and has no social skills. When I wanted to take a walk with him, my sister was nervous because she never lets him go anywhere without her. Taking him to Starbucks I realized that he had never ordered for himself before and had no idea how to talk to the cashier. My sister and her husband do not let the boy watch TV, go outside alone, or have friends. What should I do about this? Should I say something to my sister or not get involved?
We are exposed to music from the day we are conceived. We can feel and hear it in the womb. Many of us on our day of birth can hear our Mother singing, “Rock-a-bye-baby.” That turns to “Happy Birthday” every single year after that. Everyone has certain songs that invoke strong memories from the past. How about that special wedding song?
To just accept that we have trauma in our lives and to be OK with that is what emotional intelligence is really all about. Peace allows the brain to function more fully, to open up to all experience and to bring meaning as it processes the intuitive aspects of your mind. A closed down and dysfunctional approach to life, one without peace, is one that does not allow intuition or meaning.
You should also scrutinize your child’s environment for reasons he might be feeling anxious or fearful. Middle childhood is a time of venturing into the new worlds of neighborhood and school.. Help him by discussing new situations together and even role-playing (“I’ll be you, and you pretend to be an older kid on the playground”), so he can figure out how to respond when he’s challenged or uncomfortable.
This is the ‘moment of glory,’ as they say. The small games we had to play to get here are now acknowledged as being okay, because they got us to the goal of finally getting together with someone so that we can now – hopefully – drop the games and get REAL with the other person.
Play time with other children is very important for their homeschool teaching. Unfortunately, most parents are busy working Monday-Friday and don’t have time for play dates.
Don’t be cocky, be gracious. This person appreciated you enough to ask you out, so treat them with respect. Even if you think this is not the person for you and you want to get out of this date as soon as possible. The day will come when someone is thinking the exact same thing about you. Be nice.
Get started socializing online so you can build your customer base. Its not an overnight process, but with some time and good online social skills, you can become that “super” popular person that existed way back in high school, only now it translates into sales.